The little girl we hoped had join our family is no longer able to be adopted. We knew when we started the procedure that it was lengthy and this could happen. Usually the foster family adopts the child.
My prayer is that the family for Amber will understand her differences and make her into the best girl she can be.
At this point, we are still "grieving" the fact that Amber will not be part of our family. I don't know if we will try to continue with our adoption plans. My husband and I don't feel a "connection" with any other profiles. This may change later, but who knows.
I don't consider the work we did to adopt to be a total waste of time. My husband and I learned a lot about human behavior of children and adults in the foster/adopt classes. Why my children do some of the things they do. We even implemented a "point system" for chores and good behavior for middle daughter (works wonderfully, without yelling!)
I also learned about the backgrounds of adopted children and it helped me when my adopted sister (who I haven't heard from in 18 years) contacted me out-of-the-blue recently. We had a lot of catching up to do. Hopefully we can form a new relationship.
Some of the other things we did in preparation was to get our finances in order. I learned how to coupon shop and CVS and the main thing we did was refinance our mortgage. Our payment is half of what it was!
We also got the dogs up-to-date on their vaccines (a no-brainer if you live in the country, like us). And I got a blood test that confirms that I am among the living.