Autism and the God Connection

*Disclaimer:  Do not read this post if you are closed or even narrow minded. 
Autism and the God Connection:  Redefining the Autistic Experience Through Extraordinary Accounts of Spiritual Giftedness by William Stillman.

I must admit, I did not go to the library in search of this book.  The title seemed to jump out at me when I saw it.  Why? 

From an early age my husband and I noticed differences in our youngest child, Shayla.  We used to say she had an old soul.  She seemed so careful, so wise beyond her years.  She would stand on the sidelines and watch children of her age fall and make mistakes.  Many would say that is because of her perfectionist quality or anxieties, or whatever, but we saw something different.  Words can't describe what we saw in her, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Shayla was the earliest of my three girls to talk.  At 10 weeks old she said, "Good, good girl."  This was something we said frequently to her.  She quickly went through the Mama/Dada stage and by age two was carrying on an adult-like conversation with anyone.  Not like a typical two year old.  Her words were clear, they were said with purpose and could easily be understood by anyone who heard her.

Until one day, between the ages of 2 and 3, she declared, "I don't like people."  She has not spoken in public since.  Obviously, at age two, we didn't know the impact of this statement.  I can't recall any one event that would make her not like people. 

Around this same time, Shayla used to tell us a story about her having a brother in Florida.  Now I know many children have imaginary people in their lifetimes, but this was different.  She had so many details and the details were the same each time.  Not only that, but where on earth did she get the vocabulary that she used?

Shayla claims that she had a brother in Florida, his name is Paul Curtison.  He had a wife named Rosa.  Paul was a sailor that sailed the seven seas.  He fell overboard during a storm and drowned. 

Scary, huh? 

She also used to say that she sat with a man and watched different people and she chose us to be her parents.  Thinking this was just typical toddler talk, I played along and asked why.  She said, "Because I knew you were the right ones, you would understand me." 

Other times she told my older two girls that she was already in her mommy's body, but she let them go first because mommy wasn't ready for her yet.

Sound like a Stephen King movie?  Nope.  This really happened.

At this stage in her life, we did attend church, but were not what I would call a true Christian.  We did not live the life outside the walls of the church.  Not that we were really bad, but we did not teach our children about God and we did not read the Bible regularly.  Sometimes we read a Bible storybook to the children, but not often.  Back in those days, I was lucky to get a shower!  My time was spent homeschooling my two older children and running from one doctor to another, trying to get help for my baby.

As a baby, Shayla would come to life in the church.  During songtime she would stand straight up on my lap and make a joyful noise unto the Lord.  She didn't know the words, but she was singing nonetheless.  She truly loved this time, and would fuss if you tried to take her away from it.  Let me rephrase that, it doesn't show the significance.  She threw a terrible fit! 

At that time, the church we were attending was in turmoil, many members left, including us, in search of a more holier church.  We went to another church.  I thought it would be a perfect match since many there were homeschoolers that I knew.  Unfortunately, we didn't attend here long.  They did not embrace Shayla's form of worship.  We were told that she was being disruptive and pastor prefers that children be in the nursery so parents can worship.

Excuse me?!? I won't go there today, I'll save that for another soapbox.

Now you see why the title of the book got my attention.  There are other people like us?  Do all people with autism know God in a more personal way than any of us "normal functioning" people could ever imagine? 

In this book, Mr. Stillman refers to these people as enlightened and gives several stories throughout time of children that seem to have a personal relationship with God, our creator.

Although I was definately drawn into the book because of the name, I found it hard it to be rather dull.  It was slow moving and repetitive.   I was unable to finish the entire book, but may try reading it again at a later time. 

*Interestingly, Shayla has not told anymore of these tales since around the age of five.  This was also the time I started her on the GF/CF diet.  So could the gluten or casein peptides have contributed to this.  Many believe that the peptides cause changes in the opiate receptors, causing hallucinations in ASD children. 

*One more note to add, when Shayla attended preschool at age five, I confided these things with a Lisa, an aquaintenance, who had a boy that was similar in behavior as Shayla.  She told me that she and her husband also described their son as 'an old soul.'  Time and time again he told the same story about how he used to live in Russia. 

So, there's another glimpse from my life - unbelieveable, I know.  That's why I haven't opened up much about our personal life.  In my profile, I describe our family as quirky and dysfunctional.  See what I mean . .

Does anyone else have a similar experience?  Oh please share, and don't make me feel like I'm the only one!

Brain Lock - OCD

After we received the diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for Shayla, I wanted to learn more about it, as well as, get treatment ideas that we could do with her at home.

I picked up Brain Lock:  Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD at the library.

Reading this book made me a little uncomfortable.  Why?  Well, I learned that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.  In fact, maybe Shayla's behavior was either genetic or learned from US! 

Here are the areas that convicted me and made me feel uncomfortable:

List making is a sign of OCD.

What!?!  I need to make lists!  Grocery lists, to do lists (today, in a month, in a year, and someday), meal planning lists, homeschool plans, homeschool curriculum I want to try, websites to check out.  So organization is OCD!  Ok, I'll try to live more spontaneously.

Hoarding stuff is a sign of OCD.

Honestly, I'm not hoarding anything!  I just haven't found the time to declutter.  So like many with the New Year I am starting off on a decluttering frenzy!  Hopefully, the habit continues from here on out.

Seriously, after reading this and then watching some show on tv about hoarding.  I've decided that I need to make time to purge items we no longer need.  I am trying to include Shayla in on this because I think she needs to see that there doesn't need to be an emotional attachment to every object we own, but it's been hard.  I tend to sneak her items in the donate or trash boxes without her knowledge.  She just sees the boxes go.

When doing this, I explain that when we have less stuff, we have more time for fun.  I don't have to move it or clean it.  We have more time to go outside and play. 

Shameless, but it works!

I hope to be able to post my progress to keep me accountable to MYSELF. 

Is decluttering one of your  New Year resolutions?  Have you started?  Do you have any tips to share? 

Book Review: Deceptively Delicious

I recently borrowed the cookbook Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld from our library.

Jessica is wife to actor/comedian Jerry Seinfeld. She gives great recipes "sneaking" more more fruits and vegetables into any child's diet (young or old). She tests the recipes on her own family to make sure the additional fruits or veggies don't alter the taste of the dish.

Many of the recipes sounded great and could be adapted to meet our food allergies, but my kids (and hubby)are always around. They are with me when I shop, they are with me when I prepare the food - notice I don't claim to be "Perfect Mom," I did not say they are helping - I said they are usually in or popping in and out of the kitchen when I am preparing the food.

They would know if I tried to put anything too healthy in their food!

Overall, my opinion of the book was good. There are some recipes I would like to try. You know on some rare occasion that my family weren't home when I was preparing meals.

Have you read any good or new cookbooks that everyone should try? Please share.

Book Review: All That She Can Be

I read All That She Can Be: Helping Your Daughter Maintain Her Self-Esteem by Dr. Carol J. Eagle and Carol Colman.

I was hoping there would be some practical information on how to help with therapies at home in maintaining and improving my daughter's self-esteem.

Unfortunately, this book was very basic. It only told the parent what the child may be going through and why their behaviors are what they are. It did not give any helpful information or home therapy ideas. Honestly, I felt it to be long, drawn out and boring.

The only thing that stuck out was the part that told the differences in academics of boys and girls. According to the authors girls are not good at math and science because of semantics in education. Well, I tend to disagree. My daughter loves science. In fact, my middle daughter loved science, too, until she went to public school. It's not that girls don't like these subjects, IMHO, they need to be taught the subjects in a different way. How? Hands-on works for us.

If anyone is interested in obtaining a copy of this book, I did post it at paperback swap.

Book Review: Eating Gluten-Free with Emily

I found this book at our local library. Whether your child is on a gluten-free diet for celiac or not, they probably at least know someone who is.

This book explains in a kid friendly way to all kids what celiac disease is and why some kids have to eat differently. I know that my daughter, Shayla, feels funny in social situations when she can not eat the snack the other kids have and I have a special box of cookies that she can eat. Many times she avoids snacktime altogether.

I plan on reading this book at our scout troop meeting and letting the girls sample some of Shayla's gluten-free cookies.

Do you have any other ideas for explaining differences in children?

Made in Heaven

Some homeschool friends of mine wrote a book. It's called Made in Heaven. It's about having a Biblical marriage when faced with illness and other problems. Kathy suffers from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.

This is the email I received from Scott, the author of the book.

Hey all,

some of you know that I have been working on a book called Made in Heaven: A Return to the Biblical Concept of Marriage for a number of years. On the very day I was talking with Kathy about giving up on it, one of the larger homeschool book distributors in America emailed me and said they wanted to carry it.

Just to let you know, it's a Bible study/workbook/marriage book of the major passages and concepts surrounding marriage. There are lots of personal and literary examples and study questions to break it up and keep interest. I have also revamped major sections (to those who saw earlier e-editions) to include Kathy and my testimony as the introduction and also reworked the conclusions chapter. Marriage and women in the church are being hotly debated right now all across the spectrum of views, and I believe that my book has a workable solution in which women are not viewed as second rate Christians by anyone's standard, and yet the gender distinctions we find in the Bible are not only affirmed but become beautiful.

The book is on a layman's level, but not simplistic, and is written so that it would work great as a small group study at church or Sunday School or just privately as a couple. It's in a workbook format (8 1/2" X 11") and a little over 200 pages which accounts for the slightly higher price.

Now these guys aren't going to do any marketing. So if it just sits and does nothing, in 2 years they will pull the book. But if any of you would be willing to take a chance on it and buy it, wonderful! Or maybe that kind of a book is not your thing, but you'd be willing to forward this letter to all those on your email tree. I'd be greatly indebted.

If people would keep forwarding this, maybe down the line God will have someone, somewhere who will know how to help me get the message out on a larger scale. Here's the link below.http://www.rainbowresource.com/product/Made+in+Heaven/042978/1218579269-1101220

Your friend, co-worker, family member, etc.,Scott S. Huguenin (and Kathy!)

I have personally read an excerpt from this book. It is definately a great read, even if you do not have an illness in your relationship.

I plan on buying this book as soon as I can!

*On a personal note, please remember Kathy in your prayers, she had emergency surgery. Just pray that she have a quick recovery and pray for the doctors to have wisdom for her condition.